I will never travel across eastern Africa on a bus again. This is INSANE. Why did I want to do this? It's been fabulous seeing the landscape, the people, etc but seriously, what an idiot. AND on top of that, you have to pay to use toliets (aka a hole in the ground), bring your own toliet paper AND the girl I am with walks really slow. Don't get me wrong, I like her, but, seriously, pick it up! (probably too many commas there but I don't even care)
Plus, no safari because she doesn't do animals - what? And no hiking because she doesn't do that either - seriously? Note to self, choose your travel companions wisely.
So, I am headed to Uganda in Jan for a safari and rafting...good thing I'm so wealthy...f-er (yes, I said it...what?!!?)
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Woah.
The electricity is incredibly spotty today/night so I better write while I can.
I am exhausted; mentally and emotionally drained. The workshop ended today and it was amazing. God's work is being done here in Rwanda. I pray that it continues and hope the rest of the world takes the time to acknowledge what is happening here. We have so much to learn from these people.
I felt honored to be in the room when individuals were giving their testimony but I was also very uncomfortable because felt like it was too private for me to be there. I am an outsider who has never experienced this kind of horror so cannot even begin to pretend to know what they are feeling. I sat there in awe, I cried with them, I prayed with them and I had no idea what they were even saying!
There was a lot of group work today so when they broke off into discussion groups, Benjamin, the lead counselor took me aside to translate for me. One woman stood up who was a Hutu married to a Tutsi. Her husband was killed during the genocide and her whole family rejected her - both sides. Her in-laws wanted her killed because she was a Hutu and "responsible" for her husband’s death while her own family rejected her for marrying a Tutsi and being a moderate Hutu. She has been alone and rejected by both families for the last 15 years. She gave her testimony and asked for forgiveness for any role she played in the genocide. One of her husband’s aunts was part of the workshop as well and stood up, gave her a hug and asked for her for forgiveness as well. She told her that going forward they would be together and each other's "best friend." It was very powerful and I hope that they follow-up with their commitment to each other.
Another story was of a Tutsi woman who was married to a Hutu. Her husband was part of the army and I believe is currently in prison. Her children, who are Hutu, were rejected from their community (as babies) because they were "killers." After the genocide, she moved back to Nyamata which was hit hard by the genocide wiping out virtually the entire Tutsi population. At that time she was a teacher and when the school found out her children were Hutu she was fired because they would "not pay her to feed those killers." Overtime, she began to resent her children and began to beat them and refer to them as killers as well. During her testimony, she expressed her desire to reconnect with her children and ask for their forgiveness. She said the workshop showed her that she too was a killer. She has spent the last 15 years killing her children's spirit and minds.
Many others shared their stories as well and testified that they are looking to change and are ready to step forward out of the darkness. These past three days were the first days of healing for a community who has been tortured with anger, guilt and shame for the last 15 years. It would be naive to expect it to be immediate, but who knows, God can work miracles.
I'm off to Tanzania tomorrow until December 5th (I think) so there will be limited blogging but I will try! I hope you all have a fabulous Thanksgiving and I am so blessed to have you all in my life.
I love you a lot.
I am exhausted; mentally and emotionally drained. The workshop ended today and it was amazing. God's work is being done here in Rwanda. I pray that it continues and hope the rest of the world takes the time to acknowledge what is happening here. We have so much to learn from these people.
I felt honored to be in the room when individuals were giving their testimony but I was also very uncomfortable because felt like it was too private for me to be there. I am an outsider who has never experienced this kind of horror so cannot even begin to pretend to know what they are feeling. I sat there in awe, I cried with them, I prayed with them and I had no idea what they were even saying!
There was a lot of group work today so when they broke off into discussion groups, Benjamin, the lead counselor took me aside to translate for me. One woman stood up who was a Hutu married to a Tutsi. Her husband was killed during the genocide and her whole family rejected her - both sides. Her in-laws wanted her killed because she was a Hutu and "responsible" for her husband’s death while her own family rejected her for marrying a Tutsi and being a moderate Hutu. She has been alone and rejected by both families for the last 15 years. She gave her testimony and asked for forgiveness for any role she played in the genocide. One of her husband’s aunts was part of the workshop as well and stood up, gave her a hug and asked for her for forgiveness as well. She told her that going forward they would be together and each other's "best friend." It was very powerful and I hope that they follow-up with their commitment to each other.
Another story was of a Tutsi woman who was married to a Hutu. Her husband was part of the army and I believe is currently in prison. Her children, who are Hutu, were rejected from their community (as babies) because they were "killers." After the genocide, she moved back to Nyamata which was hit hard by the genocide wiping out virtually the entire Tutsi population. At that time she was a teacher and when the school found out her children were Hutu she was fired because they would "not pay her to feed those killers." Overtime, she began to resent her children and began to beat them and refer to them as killers as well. During her testimony, she expressed her desire to reconnect with her children and ask for their forgiveness. She said the workshop showed her that she too was a killer. She has spent the last 15 years killing her children's spirit and minds.
Many others shared their stories as well and testified that they are looking to change and are ready to step forward out of the darkness. These past three days were the first days of healing for a community who has been tortured with anger, guilt and shame for the last 15 years. It would be naive to expect it to be immediate, but who knows, God can work miracles.
I'm off to Tanzania tomorrow until December 5th (I think) so there will be limited blogging but I will try! I hope you all have a fabulous Thanksgiving and I am so blessed to have you all in my life.
I love you a lot.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Be grateful
I was going to start off by staying this will be a short one because I am tired but knowing me, it probably won't be so I'll just jump in...
Went to Nyamata today for the first day of a four day sociotherapy session for the victims and perpetrators of the genocide. The way the workshop is set up is on day one individuals discuss the history, what happened, why it happened, and give people the opportunity to express their personal loss of both tangible (people, houses, cows) and intangible (peace, love, faith in humanity, unity, etc). The following days are geared towards moving forward through forgiveness and reconciliation. The primary goal of the workshop is to start the healing process for these people. If they can not heal, they will never be capable of truly forgiving and without forgiveness, there is no reconciliation. Without reconciliation, Rwanda will continue to struggle as it has for the last 100 years. (As sick as this may sound, I was happy to hear that the tribes (Hutus, Tutsi, and Twa) were confrontational before the Belgium's or white folk got there. They made it worse, but it was not all peace and harmony before. One of the many things I like about the leader of our group is that he is very into ownership - he makes each person take accountability for their role in the genocide and leaves little room for blaming others).
Throughout the workshop, I learned a lot about African culture and the way that African families interact with each other. Apparently, most Africans do not express their emotions to each other, even their children. "I love you" is seldomly said and for the most part, due to numerous actions of the parents, many children grow up without a sense of value. As a result, the speaker quickly mentioned how getting over tangible loss was much simpler than the intangible. I was a bit dumbfounded because, although on some levels it does make sense, I find it very hard to believe it is that easy to get over the loss of a parent or sibling - mine at least are not that easy to replace. After only living here for 11 days, it is obvious that life is not valued has highly here as it is in the US but I was pretty taken back by how nonchalantly the loss of a family member was taken. That being said, it could also be because the workshop is geared towards Rwanda on a whole and Rwanda will not survive unless the people have a sense of love, peace and unity but still...
The whole tribes thing baffles me...ethnic ideology is the root of so much evil. If only people could just look at each other as human beings the world would be such a better place...such a simple concept but so impossible for most to understand. It all goes back to DO YOU... haha.
In addition to the workshop, I went to an orphanage for children with disabilities - rip my heart out much. It was wonderful to be there but really, really hard to leave. It's amazing how well you can communicate with people without using words. There were only a couple kids there because most went home for the holidays but I had one in my arms at all times and the other latched onto my leg. I believe both of the boys were around five and had pretty severe mental disabilities (beautiful smiles though). There was also a blind four year old, a three year old who had been found in the brush a week earlier (I have never seen a skinner child in my life) and a 15 year old who could not speak but was weaving away. I walked away from that experience very grateful for all the gifts I have in my life; having the basics is enough!
Overall it was an eventful and emotional day...off to Tanzania Thursday (I think, still have to check out safety stuff) I'll keep you posted.
I love, love, love you (said like Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice (2005))
Peace.
Went to Nyamata today for the first day of a four day sociotherapy session for the victims and perpetrators of the genocide. The way the workshop is set up is on day one individuals discuss the history, what happened, why it happened, and give people the opportunity to express their personal loss of both tangible (people, houses, cows) and intangible (peace, love, faith in humanity, unity, etc). The following days are geared towards moving forward through forgiveness and reconciliation. The primary goal of the workshop is to start the healing process for these people. If they can not heal, they will never be capable of truly forgiving and without forgiveness, there is no reconciliation. Without reconciliation, Rwanda will continue to struggle as it has for the last 100 years. (As sick as this may sound, I was happy to hear that the tribes (Hutus, Tutsi, and Twa) were confrontational before the Belgium's or white folk got there. They made it worse, but it was not all peace and harmony before. One of the many things I like about the leader of our group is that he is very into ownership - he makes each person take accountability for their role in the genocide and leaves little room for blaming others).
Throughout the workshop, I learned a lot about African culture and the way that African families interact with each other. Apparently, most Africans do not express their emotions to each other, even their children. "I love you" is seldomly said and for the most part, due to numerous actions of the parents, many children grow up without a sense of value. As a result, the speaker quickly mentioned how getting over tangible loss was much simpler than the intangible. I was a bit dumbfounded because, although on some levels it does make sense, I find it very hard to believe it is that easy to get over the loss of a parent or sibling - mine at least are not that easy to replace. After only living here for 11 days, it is obvious that life is not valued has highly here as it is in the US but I was pretty taken back by how nonchalantly the loss of a family member was taken. That being said, it could also be because the workshop is geared towards Rwanda on a whole and Rwanda will not survive unless the people have a sense of love, peace and unity but still...
The whole tribes thing baffles me...ethnic ideology is the root of so much evil. If only people could just look at each other as human beings the world would be such a better place...such a simple concept but so impossible for most to understand. It all goes back to DO YOU... haha.
In addition to the workshop, I went to an orphanage for children with disabilities - rip my heart out much. It was wonderful to be there but really, really hard to leave. It's amazing how well you can communicate with people without using words. There were only a couple kids there because most went home for the holidays but I had one in my arms at all times and the other latched onto my leg. I believe both of the boys were around five and had pretty severe mental disabilities (beautiful smiles though). There was also a blind four year old, a three year old who had been found in the brush a week earlier (I have never seen a skinner child in my life) and a 15 year old who could not speak but was weaving away. I walked away from that experience very grateful for all the gifts I have in my life; having the basics is enough!
Overall it was an eventful and emotional day...off to Tanzania Thursday (I think, still have to check out safety stuff) I'll keep you posted.
I love, love, love you (said like Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice (2005))
Peace.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Standardized tests....fun times.
Started studying for the GRE today and got my first questions right which is super exciting and all I needed to continue...
I made the big decision that I am going to take it in September 2010 (I think)...going for my MS in Counseling and Mental Health but still feel the pressure to combine it with an MBA so may have to do GMAT too. Who knows?! Every time I have an extended amount of time to pray and meditate, I always come back to counseling and my Home for Hearts concept...ahhhh, I have so much I want to do!!!
Please note that playgrounds in Africa and Home for Hearts are on the list, which means it will get done - maybe not for a ten years but I wrote it down so now I have to do it in my lifetime.
Other than the above, I got my first sunburn today! f-er. I got it walking from church..not bad but totally avoidable. I always miss a spot which you would think at 25 wouldn't happen anymore! Whatevs...aside from that I have a big week ahead of me, lots of meetings and heading to Tanzania Wednesday. I didn't realize that Thanksgiving was this Thursday!! We are having a big dinner here, actually getting a live turkey...doing it the old-fashioned way. I'm bummed that I am going to miss it! I really should have planned better but when I'm away from home the days just become a blur and I have no concept of the date.
Time is passing quickly but talking to Mom and Reilly on skype last night made me sad for the first time in awhile...makes me want to be home. (No one really believes me but if I didn't force myself to do these things I would be quite content sitting on my mom's lap (whatever, don't judge me) for the rest of my life…)
Lots of love
P.S. Cannot wait to see New Moon.
I made the big decision that I am going to take it in September 2010 (I think)...going for my MS in Counseling and Mental Health but still feel the pressure to combine it with an MBA so may have to do GMAT too. Who knows?! Every time I have an extended amount of time to pray and meditate, I always come back to counseling and my Home for Hearts concept...ahhhh, I have so much I want to do!!!
Please note that playgrounds in Africa and Home for Hearts are on the list, which means it will get done - maybe not for a ten years but I wrote it down so now I have to do it in my lifetime.
Other than the above, I got my first sunburn today! f-er. I got it walking from church..not bad but totally avoidable. I always miss a spot which you would think at 25 wouldn't happen anymore! Whatevs...aside from that I have a big week ahead of me, lots of meetings and heading to Tanzania Wednesday. I didn't realize that Thanksgiving was this Thursday!! We are having a big dinner here, actually getting a live turkey...doing it the old-fashioned way. I'm bummed that I am going to miss it! I really should have planned better but when I'm away from home the days just become a blur and I have no concept of the date.
Time is passing quickly but talking to Mom and Reilly on skype last night made me sad for the first time in awhile...makes me want to be home. (No one really believes me but if I didn't force myself to do these things I would be quite content sitting on my mom's lap (whatever, don't judge me) for the rest of my life…)
Lots of love
P.S. Cannot wait to see New Moon.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Chew on that!
The cost of my braces is equivalent to over nine years of income for the average household in Rwanda.
And, that only counts this time...it does not take into account that I've had them twice. Selfish much!
And, that only counts this time...it does not take into account that I've had them twice. Selfish much!
Friday, November 20, 2009
Pete you're going to kill me
Meant to add to my last post that my camera SUCKS...yes, inappropriate to say maybe but there is no better word. I’m so ticked. I'm thinking of buying a new one and having one of the girls bring it back with her but that's still up in the air...this whole money going out, nothing coming in thing is kinda uncomfortable. But, rest assured, I will be back here so this visit may not have great pictures but the next one will. AND, LT will be in them too!
Time's a passing
I'm shocked that it's already Friday; this week went by so fast! I'm feeling good about being here and about the timeframe that I have chosen. I am so excited for all of the opportunities that exist within Rwanda and inspired by the young people here who are doing everything in their power to make their country a better place. Three months is perfect because I believe it will give me the ability to access the needs and come home to use my network to figure out how to implement different projects to fill those needs. My goal is to start some sort of parks and recreation within Rwanda...the kids have NO WHERE to play! There isn't a swing, slide or monkey bars anywhere in this country...no wonder there is so much unrest. If kids don't play together they are only exposed to a very small number of people and usually those that their parents choose and very similar to themselves.
Yes, it's a huge project and I need to make money to support myself and all that jazz but this is possible. I am in the process of putting a document together and hope to figure out some sort of strategy before leaving. At that point, I will come home and pick the brains of the brilliant people I know to get their input on next steps. In order to be successful, it has to be a gov't funded project (I think) but I'm going to work to make the best case that I can. Ideally, I want it to come from the Rwandanese, being here has made me a firm believer that change has to come from within. I am so very pro-America but America needs saving too and all the people looking to change the world are doing just that...looking outside of their own country. The members of PLP are a group of very capable men and women, who, if given the opportunity, will change this country from within. Relying on other nations for all of the funding is a crutch and they understand that. The country and it's people need to feel a sense of ownership.
Other than that, yesterday was busy! We did not have electricity in the morning so I could not write and from 12PM until 1AM I was out. We went to Ingando which is a military school in northern Rwanda near Gisenyi. We showed the two films, As We Forgive and The Long Coat. As you may know, As We Forgive follows the lives of a couple victims and perpetrators on their road to forgiveness and reconciliation. The Long Coat, which is a new film that was produced by a young man here in Rwanda, features his life as a Hutus and the shame associated with the actions of his father and mother. After the films, we had discussion groups and students stand up to ask questions and give their own testimony. Despite being a very closed and private culture, no one has any problem standing up in front of people and telling their story (or singing and dancing).
In terms of landscape, words don't do it justice!!!! We were up near gorilla country and we had to drive down a series of dirt roads to get to the school. After driving through the most beautiful area I have ever seen (and by ever, I mean ever! Yes, more than the backyard in Park City) we opened up to the school which was sitting on a huge lake surrounded by mountains. The thought that "if I were born here, I would never leave" actually crossed my mind (and that's knowing there is little electricity, running water, etc.). The houses were tucked in the trees - which looked like stunted palm trees with huge elephant leafs - surrounded by flowers. It was amazing.
Now, on to Kate, everyone has told me how I will never be the same after this experience. Well people, the change is happening...
1) I only eat one piece of gum at a time and that piece usually lasts an hour or so. Once finished, I rarely go for another piece, I just chill. As a result, it has taken me nine days to finish a pack of gum. Now, you may say to yourself..."she is only doing that because she does not have enough to last"...wrong! I have six packs and my good friend Alexis will let you know that the "normal" Kate would be done with all six about 5 days ago...if she was going to run out or not.
2) I actually only use a dime sized portion of shampoo and conditioner now and it actually works!!! Who would have known that our parents weren't kidding and being cheap...that really is all you need. I have just saved myself a considerable amount of money!
3) I LOVE not having a TV!!! I honestly don't even miss it! Naturally I get tired at 9:30 so I'm usually in bed by 10 and always up by 7 at the latest...usually 6:30. I'm a big fan of the morning.
I'm sure there are more but that's all I got right now...
Feeling good - had my first hot shower today since being here and know that my heart needed this journey. Also, going to Tanzania next week with a girl I met from London and a couple of her American friends....free room and board!! o yeah! Can't wait :)
Lastly, as many of you have warned, I am still very alert and aware of my surroundings. The embassy is a nice run away and I know that I am still in Africa. I will continue to watch my back but am so grateful that I was not scared out of this experience.
Yes, it's a huge project and I need to make money to support myself and all that jazz but this is possible. I am in the process of putting a document together and hope to figure out some sort of strategy before leaving. At that point, I will come home and pick the brains of the brilliant people I know to get their input on next steps. In order to be successful, it has to be a gov't funded project (I think) but I'm going to work to make the best case that I can. Ideally, I want it to come from the Rwandanese, being here has made me a firm believer that change has to come from within. I am so very pro-America but America needs saving too and all the people looking to change the world are doing just that...looking outside of their own country. The members of PLP are a group of very capable men and women, who, if given the opportunity, will change this country from within. Relying on other nations for all of the funding is a crutch and they understand that. The country and it's people need to feel a sense of ownership.
Other than that, yesterday was busy! We did not have electricity in the morning so I could not write and from 12PM until 1AM I was out. We went to Ingando which is a military school in northern Rwanda near Gisenyi. We showed the two films, As We Forgive and The Long Coat. As you may know, As We Forgive follows the lives of a couple victims and perpetrators on their road to forgiveness and reconciliation. The Long Coat, which is a new film that was produced by a young man here in Rwanda, features his life as a Hutus and the shame associated with the actions of his father and mother. After the films, we had discussion groups and students stand up to ask questions and give their own testimony. Despite being a very closed and private culture, no one has any problem standing up in front of people and telling their story (or singing and dancing).
In terms of landscape, words don't do it justice!!!! We were up near gorilla country and we had to drive down a series of dirt roads to get to the school. After driving through the most beautiful area I have ever seen (and by ever, I mean ever! Yes, more than the backyard in Park City) we opened up to the school which was sitting on a huge lake surrounded by mountains. The thought that "if I were born here, I would never leave" actually crossed my mind (and that's knowing there is little electricity, running water, etc.). The houses were tucked in the trees - which looked like stunted palm trees with huge elephant leafs - surrounded by flowers. It was amazing.
Now, on to Kate, everyone has told me how I will never be the same after this experience. Well people, the change is happening...
1) I only eat one piece of gum at a time and that piece usually lasts an hour or so. Once finished, I rarely go for another piece, I just chill. As a result, it has taken me nine days to finish a pack of gum. Now, you may say to yourself..."she is only doing that because she does not have enough to last"...wrong! I have six packs and my good friend Alexis will let you know that the "normal" Kate would be done with all six about 5 days ago...if she was going to run out or not.
2) I actually only use a dime sized portion of shampoo and conditioner now and it actually works!!! Who would have known that our parents weren't kidding and being cheap...that really is all you need. I have just saved myself a considerable amount of money!
3) I LOVE not having a TV!!! I honestly don't even miss it! Naturally I get tired at 9:30 so I'm usually in bed by 10 and always up by 7 at the latest...usually 6:30. I'm a big fan of the morning.
I'm sure there are more but that's all I got right now...
Feeling good - had my first hot shower today since being here and know that my heart needed this journey. Also, going to Tanzania next week with a girl I met from London and a couple of her American friends....free room and board!! o yeah! Can't wait :)
Lastly, as many of you have warned, I am still very alert and aware of my surroundings. The embassy is a nice run away and I know that I am still in Africa. I will continue to watch my back but am so grateful that I was not scared out of this experience.
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