Guilty as Charged

So, as I type I am multitasking by talking to Morgan at the same time...sup Mogues! She brought to my attention that I have completely stopped blogging and all I have to say is sorry! I really have no excuse. I think it just comes down to the fact that this feels like normal life now. Like if I blog about it, you will all be bored because it's just the day-to-day stuff (at least for me!). No hot topics or anything like that to share.

But, that being said, that comment leads me to a rather interesting point. The point being that I still look at the same landscape everyday (mansions and shacks), still see the same street kids everyday, still feel the tension in the air (literally), still lose electricity at least every other day, still take showers with NO water pressure, still handwash my clothes, still get stared at for abnormal amounts of time per staring episode which happens at least every other person, still get excited when I actually get my list of errands complete and still wear the same four outfits I have worn over the last six months...the point is, this feels normal. Rwanda is my second home, so all of that stuff, that's just part of the day-to-day and how different is that from my "real" life?!?

It makes me think of two things:

1) How a person can become blind over time to his or her surroundings. Meaning, the extreme poverty that I witnessed when I first arrived here is the same that I will leave yet it does not evoke the same emotions it did initially. The prayers continue to be the same but the poverty, and/or acceptance of poverty, has become normal. Now, I am used to seeing people dressed in torn and tattered clothing, children dirty with no shoes, and people visibly hungry. It is normal. It forces me to be more aware and take a moral inventory of my behavior in my own country and what I see and accept as "normal". Do I let things that are considered "normal" that should not be, just exist. And, if so, what can I do in my day-to-day life to make a difference? One thing that I have learned here that I will take with me forever is that there is nothing more important or valued by a child than time. Everyone has time, it's amazing what you can do when your life does not evolve around the latest episode of Grey's Anatomy or Private Practice.

2) I should have written two down before I started writing too much about one! I know it was a good thought! Haha. So, to be honest, I have not changed much and unfortunately, I forget the original two...but, the new two is that In less than 30 days (27 to be exact), I will be back in Boston and then to NYC. Back in places where everything is at your fingertips and excess is everywhere. How the heck am I going to deal with that!?!?

LASTLY. Taking this trip was one of the best things I have ever done in my life. Everyday I feel blessed and everyday I think God is GOOD. I am ready to take on whatever is thrown at me when I get home, including MASSIVE hugs. Am I fully healed? Nope! But, I believe it is possible and that's enough for me.

I love you all and will see you in less than a month. And, no, I do not know what I am going to do when I get home and to be honest, I am not worried so nobody better try to push their fears for me, on me. I ain't scared :) (so you shouldn't be either!). I know how to work and I now know how to pray so I'm ready for the next adventure....woot woot.