New Year's Resolutions

Since it is the 30th and I have a busy day tomorrow I thought I would figure out my new year's resolutions now. Plus, it helps me procrastinate on my current work which leads me to my first resolution...1) No more procrastinating.

Ummm, for the others, I have to think about it. For the first time in my life, it will not be to stop biting my nails....can I get an Amen? (The preacher said that like 8 times at one of the churches I was at last week...bit much!) Anyway, February 16th will be my one year anniversary of not looking at my hands and thinking "psycho!" I know the exact date because that is when I got my braces on and since they were so painful for the first three weeks, I couldn't bite them...and after that, I just stopped. Too much info but the point is, this is a big one so I will be accepting nail polish, nail filers, some nail polish remover (if you send the nail polish) and any other nail related merchandise.

I digress, back to the resolutions...
2) Learn how to relax...like for real
- Stop over committing myself
- Remember it always gets done (...because I crush work)
- Remember in the grand scheme of life it's really not that serious
3) Become a better teacher
- I am here to pass on what I've learned, not do everything for everyone...
4) Become a better leader
- Think more strategically, focus on execution
5) Get healthier - mentally and physically
- JUST DO IT.

That's about it, I only like having five resolutions but I am adding one more, 6) Become more finanically conscious - Keep a budget, KEEP it!

Ok, BUT, because it is 2010...it's a big list year!!! Time to write a new one. I've pretty much dominated the last one so it's time to set some new goals (I say that with a smile, half joking because I know my mom and sisters think I am a tool). All I know right now is 2010 is the year of the half-ironman tri (if I actually train, not half-ass like the marathon, otherwise I'll save it for 2011) AND I will be 26 this year...Gleo and BK know what that means...BIG HAPPENINGS. The braces are a little behind schedule but, whatever...it'll happen.

What are your resolutions?

I feel like 2010 is going to be a big year, in a good way.

l.o.v.e

Call Me Princess

Today is one of those good days. I am almost gitty over all of the projects I am involved in and the people I am working with. It's truly amazing that I find myself in this position at this time in my life. If you told me last year that I would be in Rwanda with all of this responsibility, working on these projects that have the potential to change the world in a small way, I would never have believed you (maybe). As I get older, I find myself more and more thankful for my intense fearful nature because without it I would never embark on these adventures. The constant need to overcome my fears has opened me up to so many rich experiences (I can thank the good ol' dad for that one). To be honest, it does get exhausting at times but while it lasts I mine as well take advantage. Hopefully someday I'll be a wife and mother and, from what I hear and see, there is not much "me" time in that...can't exactly pickup and go to Africa on a whim...

My gittiness may also be attributed to the fact that I went to the gym this morning. I got a six month membership (more cost effective) to a really nice gym in a fancy hotel but I have to admit that I feel awful about it. I am paying as much as I paid at home but am experiencing some serious guilt over it - major cognitive dissonance. I'm worried that every time I go I'm going to be disgusted with myself for spending the money so foolishly when people all around me need it for everyday living. My membership is as much as a year and a half of income for the average Rwandan family. (I should note here that I had no problem with my lavish spending in the US, never really taking into account that some Americans are only living on a $1 a day too...real nice Kate). I'm just torn, I mean it's too late, I signed up and I know it will be a nice escape that will make me healthier but I wish I could just get my lazy ass to workout outside instead. Bottomline, I'm spoiled and I am having real issues dealing with that fact. Welcome to my warped mind.

Huge hugs coming your way!

P.S. It rained today until 11AMish which means that a significant portion of Rwandan's did not go to work today until around 12PM. If you did not know, Africa stops for the rain. (That could be a reason for the limited income...maybe?? Probably not, I'm just trying to make myself feel better)

Ouch.

Yesterday I said, "I believe I pulled my groin." Today I say, "I pulled my groin." Holy crap it hurts and I have no idea how to make it better!!! I start my gym membership tomorrow so maybe someone there can help me. If not, I'm going to stick to swimming for awhile. Good ol' body can't take the abuse like it used to!

Call me Steve Nash...

We had our first game today. We lost 31-41...yes, it was an intense battle. I decided today, after talking to the coach, that my primary responsibility is to pass and attempt to teach the post some moves. Since the championship is June 5th and I will be back home, it does not make sense for me to take on the responsibility of scoring. If I become their main offense, it is not fair because when it counts, I will not be there. So, today I just passed. I shot a couple times but only when I was completely open. AND, they have me playing the 2 guard....2 guard. That's just plain nuts! I don't know how to crash the boards from the perimeter or even know where to go...(mainly because we have no plays). Anyway, it was an experience and confirms the fact that I love the post...it is by far the best position.

Other than that, I really need to have a productive week. I'm trying to take weekends off from work but there is just so much work that when I do, Monday through Friday is just too busy.

P.S. Completely kidding about the Steve Nash comment and since I play the 2 guard on offense, I have to guard a guard on defense...yes, fun times. I believe I pulled my groin.

Tis the season...

Merry Christmas!!!

My first Christmas away from home was not terrible. I really wish I was with my family but since I was not, I do feel that I made the best out of the situation (thanks to my roommate Sam). Christmas eve was a tough one, I was sad because I LOVE going to Nana's to be with the family (but, I did hear that it was much "quieter and felt like 10 people were missing" which I don’t really consider a good thing unless it was due to less overall laughter).

In place of the usual Christmas eve festivities, I found myself with Sam and her friend (who I can't remember his name, crap...anyway, he's really nice and Windy would be in love with him in point two seconds due to his INCREDIBLE smile and superb bone structure...he is 22 but what's 2 years..). We went to a "hip-hop" concert, I can't say that without thinking of Wedding Singer and that old lady rapping but, anyway, we went to the National Stadium which is about a mile up the road for the 4:00 concert which apparently means 7:00 Rwandan time...why they say everything starts at 4:00, I have no idea why. So the concert consisted of every singer in Rwanda basically. At 7:3o a bunch of amateurs performed and then around 10:00 the famous people came on. We left around 12ish but I think it went to 2AM. Just to back up a bit, by preformed I mean used a Mac notebook that was hooked up to speakers to play their track which they then proceeded to lip-sync off of...apparently that's what they do here...straight Milli Vanilli style (except they claim to be the people for real). A couple of the real famous ones do sing for real with a band but only about three of fifteen did. Another interesting point is that due to the limited laws protecting artists and their music (by limited I mean nonexistent), they have no way of making money besides the show. They get famous by having their music played on the radio but they are not paid and there are huge piracy issues. When the good guys, and there were a few that were great, preformed, the fans would come up and stuff money into their pockets. For me, who has been blessed to attend a "real" concert, this seemed like a college spring day concert...for Rwandans this was their equivalent of an NSync concert at the Garden...different worlds. O, and another thing, they don't make up their own music, most use beats from the US and but new words to it. Bye, Bye, Bye by NSync was used, a few Brittney tunes and a couple others. No one here can read notes so the musicians play everything by ear. Sam has friends in a band and said it is fascinating to watch them practice because a singer brings in a track they have never heard and within 10 mins the guitarists, drummer, and keyboard player can play it back perfect. For a nation that is so musically inclined, it will be interesting to see how it morphs over the next couple years if they can get some laws in place...but this is Africa (no offense but corruption is corruption). Overall, good experience but different than the usual Christmas eve festivites.

For Christmas day, I went to another one of Sam’s friends houses. They are an older couple who are Rwandan but fled to Uganda awhile back and then to Canada. Their older son, daughter and son-in-law came in from Canada and they have an adopted nine year old. They were such a nice family and it was really comfortable, which I was thankful for. The mom was so nice and an unbelievable cook and the father was such a sweet guy. The youngest son decided that he wanted to be a vegetarian so it was just funny to see the banter between the father and son…the dad was so supportive which I was very surprised by. The mom made homemade guacamole and chips as well as a sorbet for dessert. AND, we had chicken!!!! I miss chicken so much! Haha it was such a welcomed treat. We stayed the afternoon with them, watched New Moon (mixed reviews, a bit too dramatic for me) and then headed home. Once we got home I had the chance to skype with the family for awhile and then we headed out for Christmas dinner at a couple from Oklahoma’s house. Everyone is so nice. (I need a new adjective but that really describes them…just nice)! This Christmas dinner was pure southern cooking…it was delicious and I had never had most of the foods prepared but you could tell that it was southern. I tried a bit of everything but just by the looks of it, it was obvious that a bit was all you should have. She was a great cook though and their family was wonderful as well. Their house was decked out in Christmas decorations so being there with some Kenny G playing in the background made it feel much more like home.

So, there is the play by play…probably too much info! I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas! I really missed you all. At least this time away makes me even more thankful for my family and how lucky I am to love them so much.

Commitment Issues...

Per usual it only took me a month and a half to over commit myself and fall right back into the hectic lifestyle I always create for myself!!! I'm exhausted. I've been working really hard (haha in comparison to November) and being pulled in all different directions with PLP and AWF. There is so much work to be done!!! So, that, in combination with bball, has left me drained.

That being said, since this adventure is all about personal growth, I don't want to be a stressball anymore (ever) and want to actually do what I want to do without worrying about everyone else and what they will think (Thank you Becca Shaw for restarting this thought process where LT left off). As a result, I'm undecided but I think I may tell the bball coach I am only available to practice three days a week and then for games on the weekend. They seem to practice every day for two hours, and that's in addition to the 45 mins of travel time (total) which is too much with all the work I have to do. There aren't enough hours in the day, especially if you like a 9:45/10PM bedtime.

Plus, they're not my people...it's so interesting to me what an impact your teammates have on your experience. Granted I do not know these girls at all, and unfortunately with the language barrier probably never will know them well, but they are not my teammates. Even in Ireland I couldn't see those girls as my teammates. I'm finding that if you don't have that bond, created by hours and hours spent together everyday...usually dying, or the internal competitive/self-worth issues it's hard to put all the work in (and we all know how much it takes for me to be decent). I think my desire to practice is over...haha I'm all about 3 v 3 zog and full-court pickup...defensive slides, passing drills (which I know I need), closeout drills, etc. are a thing of the past. I'm realizing for the first time that I meant it when I said I left everything at Bentley.

Director of Strategic Planning or something like that...

I committed to June 1. Not that I need to justify my position but the work has been really rewarding so far and they could really use someone with my skill set.

That being said, please feel free to start sending me things...oatmeal, granola, movies, gum, slimfast, books, balsamic vinaigrette and if you're feeling really generous, an iPod with Boom Boom Pow, Fire Burning, some Bebo Norman and of course Sugarland and Rascal Flatts...

P.O. Box 1798
Kigali, Rwanda

And, since I have to change my ticket now anyway....Mom, meet me in Egypt on May 25th and then we will go home together on June 1st.

PLEASE NOTE that my decision to stay longer is not a reflection of how much I miss you people. I totally regret not being home for Christmas and really, really love you....like really.

I miss my people.

All the roomies (expect one) have left to go home for Christmas. I want to go home for Christmas (said in a whiny voice)!!!! This weekend has been a miss the family weekend...bigtime.

On that note, I was offered a paid, full-time position here if I want the stay for an "extended" amount of time. Depending on what "extended" and "paid" means, I am contemplating taking it. That being said, I will be home by June to attend all the weddings! Family, I cannot find you to discuss...

Also, I have taken the food situation into my own hands. I now cook all my veggies (butter free, woot woot) when the cook is not here and freeze them. When she leaves, I eat. No more starch for this girl!

Hope you all have a great weekend and I really miss you.

ooo life...

Who would have thought that I would be responsible for building, from scratch, the entire financial model for an organization and actually know how...

Thank you Accrue. I never wanted this skill and now have it...much slower than the average financial brain but at least it's doable! Shows me that I have to trust the path I'm on, even if I don't understand it.

First bball practice Monday at 4:30PM. I have promised Mom to take my aspirin due to the good ol' heart murmur but I am happy to report that I will not be the oldest on the team. Most likely in the worst shape, but, not the oldest. Met the coach yesterday, he was at least 6'8, at least. And, I'm scared. Haha, yes, the insecurity has flooded back! But, whatever, this slow, unathletic body hasn't let me down yet and it's for fun...it's for fun, it's for fun, it's for fun.

I miss my people.

What exactly do you do?

One of my wonderful family friends recently asked me what exactly I do for work here because, to quote her, according to my blog, "it doesn't seem like you are doing any work at all." I'm sure she is not the only one who has that question or thought so, here you go....

I work for two organizations, one called As We Forgive and the other called PLP (Peace and Love Proclaimers). For AWF, I am in the process of building out activities for Jan-Apr 2010, creating our programs and determining the best strategy for implementation throughout Rwanda. At this time, due to funding, we are only working on a four month pilot program. Together with the Rwandan team, we are writing proposals for each of the projects. Once completed, we send to the Managing Director in DC and she goes after additional funding. I am responsible for editing all of the proposals and building our financial model for the next four months as well as through 2010.

One of the projects I am completely responsible for is our AWF Radio Show. I wrote the proposal and am now going after endorsements as well as free air time. When people actually get back to me, I have meetings with radio managers, Senators and hopefully the First Lady soon. The radio show will be hosted by the PLP guys but based off of the seven principles of the AWF LivingTogether Guide. Without getting into too much detail, the purpose of the show is to provide an open forum for the people of Rwanda to voice their opinions regarding the countrywide reconciliation efforts. By creating an environment where individuals can speak freely on such topics, the show will promote unvarnished communication that will stress the importance of sincere resolution and open dialogue. Likewise, the show will give individuals the opportunity to hear and comment on the opinions of respected Rwandan officials and community leaders. Although the show will specifically target the secondary school demographic, the content discussed and the guest interviews and appearances will cater to a much broader audience. Through this media, AWF and PLP hope to further the efforts of the existing reconciliation projects through open and honest communication resulting in a more unified and reconciled post-genocide Rwanda. (Yes, that is directly from my proposal...edits welcomed)

With PLP, I am the International Coordinator of a Walk to Remember. This event will be hosted in Rwanda, Burundi, Tanzania, Kenya, Uganda and the UK this year. It will take place on April 7th. The purpose of the event is remind people, particularly the youth, that genocide happens and the steps necessary to prevent it. We are still in the process of planning but our goal is to give people the knowledge necessary to stop these things before they start. We will educate them on the eight stages of genocide: classification, symbolization, dehumanization, organization, polarization, preparation, extermination, and denial. My personal goal is to stress the classification and dehumanization aspects of genocide because, unfortunately, everyone can relate to those. When people stop looking at others as human beings just because they do not look or act the same way, we have a problem. Yes, it's a big mission but I do think it is possible. We just have to empower youth for a change. My job with them is to coordinate all of the meetings and make sure that each country is on the same page in terms of message, materials, etc. With the creator of the event, Marc, I am writing our materials - exec summary, equivalent of a biz plan, financials, and sponsorship deck. Over time, we intend to have a walk on every continent. US will be 2011. Aside from Walk to Remember, I am assisting in the process of getting them registered as a 503c, designing their website and re-working some of their material.

So, that's what I am doing. I am definitely not as busy as I was but I am loving what I am doing. Everything has a purpose and it is rewarding. This small country could change the world someday and it's exciting to be a part of it.

P.S. I woke up this morning with that thought that I am staying until mid-April (be home for Easter). After all this work, I want to be a part of the walk...that being said, we shall see!

Ortho in Africa?

Not only is there an orthodontist in Rwanda but the office is walking distance from my house...thank you God. I was struggling!!! She saved me and put a lock on my wire so it does not shift again. I am so happy about it.

Finally got my little friends down the street to stop calling me "umuzungu" and call me Kate. They have also stopped asking me for money which is a major victory and I'm trying to get them to tell me their real names but I think that will take some time. Right now they are all professional futbol players...my favorite calls himself David Beckham. He's probably five years old but swears, through a massive smile, it is his real name.

Other than all that, I was so sick today! It was miserable. I haven't felt so terrible in years and I took a nap for almost five hours....definitely did not get any work done but feel so much better now so at least it's not typhoid or something. Yes, that is a concern when my stomach hurts...that or malaria - it's a whole different world!

Free Hair Removal

I thought it was worth mentioning that when you have a gas stove and forget to light the pilot, do not, and I repeat, do not try to light it 10 minutes later. You may end up with significantly less hair on your right arm, right eyebrow and charred bangs (unless you're a lefty then it would be the opposite).

I may or may not know from experience.

Jillian Michaels, you are awesome.

SO, day one of Kate trying to get back in shape...woah.

How did I survive college workouts? I have no idea how I did it. I jumped rope for 30 mins and then did Level 1 of Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred video and you would have thought that Charlie had me out on the turf for hours with those stupid sprints and incredibly painful circuits. May I repeat, LEVEL 1...there are three! I feel like a freshman again (and we all know what that was like)!

I'm excited at the thought of getting healthy again!!

Other than that, I crushed work yesterday, crushed it! Two proposals finished and one almost done...oo yeah. Today is research day so I better get to it. Have a big meeting tonight and then off to the African Cup to watch some beautiful men play a fabulous game.

Last thought - everyone is starting to ask me if I will stay here longer and all that...I don't want to think about it because I miss everyone at home and I have no idea! I don't have a job to come back to and corporate America is still unappealing right now. I need some guidance. I'm just praying that I keep my eyes and ears open to His plans for me and learn how to stay in today....which has proven to be the biggest challenge of my lifetime so far (well almost)! At least I know that both places make me happy so I have nothing to lose.

I miss you all and can't believe Santa comes in less than 10 days...I hope he knows where to find me ;)

P.S. Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred - HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

What have I done?

Had my meeting with the President of Basketball - Rwanda this morning and am shocked to report that, without picking up a ball, I am the newest member of the Rwandan Women's National Team. I, who have not shot a ball in over a month, played seriously in two years, or played defense since 2006, have practice on Friday and my first game in Burundi on December 27th. I can't help but smile at this life I lead, but seriously, what is going on?

It has been soooo long since I have been in the basketball mindset that for the first time in a long time I thought about my height, or lack thereof. For the last three years I have been considered taller than average, but back in basketball land I am back to being an undersized post (or power forward!). All my height insecurities came back in a flash and I couldn't help but laugh and think what am I doing?!?! I am only 25 but feel way to old for this! I can't wait to look back and see the lessons I learn from this one...

It should be noted that I'm pretty sure Rwanda finished last or second to last in the African Cup in November so that kind of explains why they just put me on the team...anyone can help!

Part of me is looking forward to the pain of getting back in shape but a bigger part is NOT.

Kate + Colin = <3

Today my roommate and I were talking about Medugorje on our walk back from church and it got me thinking about my trip there in 2007. When we got home I started reading a book we have called, The Healing Touch of Mary. The book is a collection of personal accounts of various individuals who have been saved by or had visions of Mary. Reading the book, in particular the stories of individuals who were healed by using Lourdes water, made me remember my own personal fun story from Medugorje.

The first day I was there, I went to the big church in the center of town which I believe is simply called the Parish of Medugorje (don't quote me). At the time, I had terrible shin splints (which I never get) and was worried because I had bad shoes, a heavy backpack, and knew that the rest of my trip would be very uncomfortable if they remained. After mass, I put the holy water from the church on my shins, and distinctly remember thinking, "mine as well try" with a hint of "prove it" (which I acknowledge is not good). Well, it worked. I remember them not bothering me starting the next day and have not gotten them since. I wish I took some home and really should have put it on my knees as well!! I remember telling someone that story but not sure who (maybe Katie or maybe Mom??). Regardless, I figured I would share just because it's fun and haven't thought of it in a long time. I choose not to believe that it was a coincidence.

Apart from church and reading, I went to the market and finished watching the six hour A&E version of Pride and Prejudice. I decided that I officially have a crush on Colin Firth. Yes, he is an older man and does not necessarily fit my usual "type" (which most times is ever changing based on personality so I guess non-existent) but, after careful thought and consideration, I heart him (or at least basically every character he has ever played).

Also, talked to Paula, Max and Fumble today on skype for the first time which was awesome!

I hope you are all doing well and hope you have a great week. I need to get my act together and have a productive one...last week was personally and spiritually rewarding but I didn't really complete anything work related so...yeah.

P.S. There are tons of great things at the market...baskets, fabric, bags, masks, candle holders, earrings, etc but I refuse to buy anything unless you tell me what you want because you never seem to like/use what I get.

Lots of Love...

Today Sam and I went to Ndeina’s family house (she is our friend and cook). She is one of nine children and they live in rural Mutara which is two hours northeast of Kigali. Ndenia is 19 and no longer lives at home but her brothers (15, 12, 5, 4) and her sister (7) still do (does?). We went there for lunch and had a great time. Her family was so wonderful and the kids were so cute. They were obsessed with our cameras and, as a result, I have many headless shots…

According to Sam, their house was nice in comparison to those in southern Rwanda. There were three bedrooms and a living room. Both their kitchen (a firepit) and their bathroom (a concrete stall with a hole) were located outside of the house. There were no family pictures hanging, very little furniture (two chairs and a couch) and the only color throughout the house was a map of Rwanda and a poster of the Virgin Mary. The walls were concrete with sheets over the windows and the floors were a mix of concrete and dirt. When I first walked in my gut reaction was to feel sorry for all that they did not have. I couldn’t see how 11 people fit in this house and could not even begin to imagine a life with no electricity or plumbing…AT ALL. I felt guilty eating their food as they are a one income household (her father is a tailor and her mom stays at home) and already had so many mouths to feed without adding two more.

In the midst of all those thoughts, I started to relax and shut off my racing mind long enough to realize that they had all they needed. Yes, we could get into the argument regarding whether they have a choice or not but, let’s not. There was so much love in this house. The father had tremendous respect and admiration for his wife and her of him. She was always smiling and laughing and the children did the same. It was obvious how close the siblings were and they were incredibly friendly with all of their neighbors. It quickly became obvious that they already have everything that really matters. Their house was more of a home than many in the US.

Other than that fabulous experience, I have a meeting with the President of Basketball – Rwanda next week. I’m trying to get on a team for fun and maybe even get some money (may be a long shot as I think they are out of season but we’ll see). To be honest, I am excited but the first thought that came into my head was “damn, I hate defense” haha yeah…makes my legs hurt. I hope they give me some time to workout before evaluating me since I no longer have any muscle and literally suck wind at this altitude. We shall see. It’ll be a great experience if it works out but life has become so much more than basketball that it will be interesting to see how my mental state is…I would bet, if given the opportunity, I will be consistently more effective because I truly do not feel like I have anything to prove anymore. I am a 25 year old has-been and I am totally cool with that.

LOVE YOU.

Don't hate.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/africa/11/29/tanzania.albinos/index.html

Oh crap! I wonder what they do to blue eyed albino look alikes.

FYI, for those of you who are geographically challenged, both Tanzania and Burundi share a border with Rwanda. Damn, damn, dammmmmmmn.

Christmas Music in June...

First and foremost, Windy, I love your picture. It is a true representation of who you are and I love it. I laughed so thanks.

Secondly, Max, welcome to the parks & rec team and, no, I did not bring Nana's sweater with me (although I should have!!!). I'm sure it is around there somewhere and I would be honored if you carried on the tradition and wore it this year. Due to the fact that you were the only one who agreed that it was the sweater she was wearing her last Christmas, I think it is only right!

Lastly, an update...since it is that time of year, we often listen to Christmas music and it is so weird! It's hard to get in the spirit here because it feels like June and there are no lights or decorations anywhere. It makes me realize that I could never live in a state where it does not snow. I need snow, I need four seasons. I will say that I am kind of grateful that I feel this way because it does make it much easier to miss my first Christmas. Without the hoopla, it will simply feel like Jesus' birthday...which I guess is a good thing but much less fun.

Other than that, I have nothing to report. I have legit done nothing the last three days. I went into town twice and other than that have been chilling...str8 chillin (that's for you LT, do you even say that?). I've spent a lot of time sitting on my porch reflecting on life, mine in particular. I strongly recommend it. I feel calmer than usual and although I felt like a waste of space, I think it is vital to do a personal inventory...yes, Paula, I just said that. I have dissected basically every part of myself and concluded that I do in fact like myself...so I guess that's good. I have realized how tired I was and, although I would like to pretend I could have continued the way I was going, I can now admit to myself how much I did need this time. I have been running on empty for awhile now and look forward to coming back refreshed...watch out world.

Sending a massive, suffocating, hold on for a minute passed comfortable HUG.

P.S. I have been working on my proposals as well...they are taking forever! I am a slacker and should take self-starter off my resume because it is a lie (but I'm not going to).

P.S.S. Men hold hands in Rwanda. Like, interlocking fingers hold hands. Not going to lie, in the beginning I was puzzled. I did not understand how so many men were openly gay in an African nation. For a day or two I thought maybe they move here from Ethiopia because they can get killed there and maybe in Rwanda it is more accepting...nope. They just hold hands. I kind of like it, manly men, holding hands...it's nice.

P.S.S.S. African Cup starts Friday...I WANT TO PLAY BASKETBALL. My game is slippin!

Caught in the act...

Tonight I went to a screening of a film called, My Neighbor, My Killer, with two of my roommates (Rachel and Sam). It was an interesting film offering a different angle than As We Forgive. Rather than focus on repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation, this film followed a village through their experiences at Gacaca. The Gacaca is basically a community court room. The perpetrators that were released are forced to face the community and the survivors are their judge and jury who determine what their sentence will be. The perpetrators stand up in front of the counsel and the survivors stand up and testify against the perpetrators. The perpetrators then either deny or confirm the claims. Once everyone has spoken, the counsel gives them their sentence – freedom or additional jail time.

To be honest, the film was rather depressing. Most, if not all, of the survivors interviewed basically said that it didn't matter if the perpetrators were released and killed them because they were already dead. They said they almost hoped they would come back and finish the job. I'm sure a significant percentage of the survivor population feels that way, as they have lost everything, but I'm over here in la la land watching amazing things happen with repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation that it's almost easy to forget the immense, inconsolable pain felt by so many (especially those without a God).

The film was thought-provoking to say the least. My roommates and I had a great discussion regarding the possibility of true reconciliation and whether it is better to talk about all of this horror or just let it die with that generation. I have my own opinions (of course) but I don't want to bore you with them right now but I'd be happy to discuss when I get home.

After the film my roomies filled up on snacks and had a couple drinks. When we were leaving they decided that it would be a good idea to take a couple beers home with us. One of us, Sam, was able to slip one in her purse but Rachel was having some issues so asked me to grab one for her. I didn't plan on taking my own so didn't think it would be problem. I don't know what we were thinking to have me, the tallest, whitest, brightest haired person in the room, take the beer but it seemed like a good idea at the time. So, me being my incredibly smooth self, unzips my purse and on the way out attempts to put it in my bag (which I thought I almost missed). Well, I made it down one step before being followed out and told that I could not bring that out of the hall. Of course the first time I attempt to take booze semi-illegally, I get caught! I should have known though because they are always watching me like a hawk...every where I go!!! But, we all got a good laugh and there was no jail time so it was worth it :)

That's all I got. LOVE YOU.

Nothing exciting to report...

Today was a rainy Sunday with no electricity so I do not have too much to report. I went to a new church...a singing, dancing, praise the Lord church...AWESOME voices! It was an interesting experience but I think I prefer a step down in intensity. After church we hosted a big lunch at the house. My roommate from the UK, Donna, cooked and it was impressive (still starchy but nice...this girl is dying for a basic salad with some balsamic vinaigrette on the side). After lunch it poured so I watched He's Just Not That Into You. It was my first time watching anything since I got here and although it was a mind-numbing chick flick there is nothing better than a movie on a rainy day! I will say that the movie confuses that heck out of me but I have no idea what I am doing anyway when it comes to dating so it does not really matter at this point!

This week is going to be busy...tons of meetings and I have to finish my proposal for a radio show we are producing as well as the Walk to Remember plan. I am going to be the jack of all trades by the time I get home…

Other than that, due to my inability to stay in the moment (I'm working on it), I was thinking how crazy it is that I have only been here for a month and already have people to miss AND people from Africa...that just sounds cool. But, it's true, I have met so many wonderful people and I just really enjoy my roommates and the PLP guys.

I think of you guys all the time! If I could, I would give you all massive hugs right now!

You want me to what?

I, Kate Kelley, am now the International Coordinator of A Walk to Remember. I have meetings with individuals from Asia, India, and the UK next week to discuss this year’s event as I am now responsible for all of our international efforts. I am incredibly honored that PLP has chosen me but I would love to see my Mom's face right now as she reads this. If I were not so concerned about google and this blog coming up when you search for A Walk to Remember I would elaborate. How and why do these wonderful things keep happening to me? If I knew I would be put in all these positions, I would have studied A LOT harder in school!!! (You'll have to wait for more information on the event. I am in the process of reworking our mission statement and strategic goals but will share once they have been approved).

In other news, today was The Watchman. The Watchman is another event hosted by PLP at the Niboye Peace Village. This village is a collection of 22 houses with an average of five people living in each house (three small rooms, kitchen, and living room). The individuals living in the houses are all victims of the genocide and part of children run households. The oldest person at the village is approximately 25 and all of its inhabitants are orphans. They live on roughly $124 frw or $0.22 USD per month. Since the oldest child in each house (now around my age) was responsible for taking care of the others, they did not have the opportunity to go to school or have access to programs that would teach them income generating skills. As a result, very few households earn any additional income. Many of the children, who are now in their teens, have been displaced so often that most are still in primary school. For example, the family I met included a boy (15), Goodness, who was one at the time of the genocide and his brother (21) who was six and sister (22) who was seven. Their parents, older sister, aunts, uncles and grandparents were killed during the genocide. They had one grandmother left who they lived with until she passed in 2004 and moved to the village in 2007. Goodness is 15 and in the sixth grade, his brother is currently unemployed and his sister is a secretary. They have no electricity and minimal plumbing.

The primary purpose of the event is to show the people of the village that they are not forgotten and bring them two months worth of food and supplies. Now that I am more involved with PLP, my goal is to have workshops next year that will teach them the skills necessary to generate some sort of income for their families. The workshops could include basket weaving, farming, etc. There have to be a couple people in the farming community that could use some help and the kids stories are so moving that you could set up some sort of foundation or online store to sell their goods. I have to think about it more but I know there is a solution. Right now we are just giving them the food/supplies which is only a temporary fix. I would much rather help them to become self-sufficient. The whole give a man a fish vs. teach a man to fish thing...

Overall, great day, I feel so blessed to be here and have the opportunity to meet all of these wonderful people. They are always falling all over themselves trying to thank me for being here and I wish somehow I could communicate to them just how grateful I am to them for being a part of my life. It's hard to explain but they are giving me more than I could ever give them.

I can't believe it is December 5th...so crazy. I hope everyone is getting in the Christmas spirit...PLEASE BUY A BRICK! www.livingbrickscampaign.org

Love you more than you know.

P.S. The first member of my A Walk to Remember US based team will be Ms. Brittany Kelley, followed by Ms. Windy Kelley, Mrs. Paula Reele, and Ms. Rebecca Shaw. Our first meeting will be two weeks after I get back, more details to come.

Dear Tiger

If I were your wife I would have just gone straight for that freshly rehabbed knee and then maybe the rotator cuff.

You're a jerk.

Warm wishes,

Kate

Some like it hot...

I LIKE IT COLD.

O my goodness, Tanzania was soooo hot!!! Like, stand still and sweat hot. The sun was beating on me all day, every day. On the beautiful beaches of southern Zanzibar, I was in the pool and ocean lathered in my spf 45 (didn't have my spf 85) for less than 25 minutes before diving for cover under an umbrella and I immediately turned into a freckle freak and burnt the heck out of every area I missed! It was unbelievable. Granted we were at the equator and this skin was made for the rolling green hills of cloudy, rainy Ireland but come on, what happened to evolution?! I've been gone for generations...

The trip overall gets a 5 out of 10...I was gone for seven days and spent 4 1/2 on a bus, was followed by locals begging for money or for me to buy over-priced crap non-stop, was constantly forced to barter for everything (taxi fares, tickets, etc) because everyone tried to rip me off, was suffocated in a cloud of cigarette smoke for the last two days and had to pay for a plane ticket home due to the fact that I decided I already wasted too much of God's time over the last week praying to safely arrive at my next location that it was just becoming selfish.

So, I will focus on the more negative parts first so we can end on a positive note.

Bus Ride: Insane. Most of the time we were on dirt roads getting slammed all over the seats. The "buses" ranged from 1970's vans to regular charter buses...none of which had bathrooms and all sounded like they could break down at any minute.

Begging: Leave me alone. The begging is non-stop! It's annoying and most won't quit. They follow you and it's just ugh. I have a new strategy with the beggars that are kids. Now when they come up to me I tell them if they can give me five good reasons why I should give them the money I will. It stops them in their tracks and they just smile and want to know everything about you.

Bartering: In the "real world" tickets and taxi fares have a fixed price. Not in Africa...at least not if you're white. EVERYONE and I mean everyone tried to rip us off. It was outrageous and so frustrating. I was even to the point of telling people to go screw and although this comment might cause a debate, which I welcome, Africa is by far the most racist continent I have ever been on. It's unfortunate but people try to take advantage of you at every turn and it's just corrupt. For instance, we went into a ferry company office to buy a ticket from Dar Es Salaam to Zanzibar. It was a legit establishment and we knew going in that the tickets cost $35USD. We walked in, asked for two tickets and the guy said $50USD a piece. We said we knew they only cost $35USD and he smiled and said no, $50USD. We said no thanks and walked out. As we were leaving, he said fine $35USD. We left and bought them from someone else for the right price. It's so frustrating because that man does not understand the effect that his actions have on his company...he is losing business. What if we had just moved there and needed tickets weekly, or if we had a massive group with us, or if we were writers for some tour guide book...it's just bad business. Another example is with the taxi drivers - nuts. One guy actually told us it cost $50k shillings to go less than three miles (it should cost approx $7-10k). I was really fed up at this point because it was after four days of people constantly trying to take advantage of us so I looked at him and told him I am a good person and although he is not acting like it right now, I'm sure he is too so why is he trying to rip me off? He started laughing and grabbed my hand and wanted to know my name and where I was from and then asked me how much I wanted to pay to get there and he'd take me. It was actually a nice interaction but it's so easy to see why people just write-off Africa....so many of the people you interact with just push you to your limits.

Smoke: I have never been around a group of people who smoked so much in my life. Of the eight people I was with for my two days in Zanzibar, five of them smoked at least two packs a day. It was constant and I hate cigarette smoke...hate it.

Plane Ride: Ok, this one is not to be repeated to Pat. If she finds out, it will have to be through reading the blog so, in some ways, this is a test. I decided to take a plane back because the bus ride to Dar Es Salaam was so crazy and I was legit afraid for my life. One incident in particular sealed the deal. When we walked crossed the Rwandan border into Tanzania we had to switch buses and pick up two armed guards. I thought nothing of it because I just figured they had to get somewhere as well. Guess what...I was wrong! About an hour north of the border we passed a van with a bullet hole through the driver’s side window. Unbeknownst to me, bandits flood the area before Christmas and highjack and rob the cars and buses passing through. Luckily the bandits missed the drivers head so were unsuccessful in their attempt but it was scary nonetheless. Anyway, about 20 minutes after passing the van with the bullet hole we were stopped by a group of about 10 decent sized men with machine guns...eight of which were dressed in civilian clothing. At this time, all I was thinking was "Super, look what I got myself into." and "Way to be selfish and get killed on Thanksgiving." (I was also drowning myself in prayer but was mainly thinking, "Super, how am I going to get out of this one?"). Well, turns out they were all cops hunting for the bandits but still...woah. Needless to say, I decided then and there that if I didn't buy a plane ticket back I was basically putting a price tag on my life and I would be so ticked off if on the way home we got highjacked...that is one experience I do not need to have. All that being said, I also feel the need to point out that nowhere on the embassy website did it say that there were bandits in Tanzania...I did look before leaving.

So, positives...saw most of eastern Africa; including, Mt. Kilimanjaro, the tribes people and their villages; met some really nice, helpful people; and, swam in the Indian ocean (that was about 80 degrees, no lie, hottest water I have been in since being in Africa, showers included)...there are probably more but I am tired :) If I think of them I will write it tomorrow.

Lastly, you may think I am nuts but this fascinated me so I have to share... We stayed at my traveling companion's friend’s house in Zanzibar. It was freaking hot and there were no fans / air conditioning so as soon as we woke up in the morning, we would bring our blankets outside and lie on the porch because it was cooler outside. Well, lying there I noticed the line of ants that were walking across the porch and up the wall. The ants were going in two directions passing each other...I swear some of the ants acknowledged one another. I was watching them and some of the ants stopped and touched heads then moved along. They were not walking into each other and they were not greeting every ant. Moral of the story - ants have friends. (No, I don't do drugs).

Lastly (for real), my biggest take-a-way from this trip is that Rwanda was the right country in Africa for me at this time. The landscape, temperature and the people fit me better than Tanzania and Kenya...(although I'm sure there are great people there too). One thing that I should say after bashing the African's for being corrupt is that on my way back from the airport I was preparing myself for my pending fight with the moto driver for a fair fare. I decided on a price that I was willing to pay and as I waved down the moto was preparing my speech. I asked the moto driver how much and for the first time in Africa, he quoted me a fair price - the actual real cost of the ride. I was shocked. When I got home, I gave him the money and he gave me the correct change! I tipped him which confused him because people don't tip here and thanked him for his honesty...it was exactly what I needed!!!

That's all. Lots of reading! Although a majority is negative, each experience was worth it (minus the bandits, no point in that one).

I love you and am so grateful to be back in Rwanda safe (but on guard)!

Ahhhhhh..........

I will never travel across eastern Africa on a bus again. This is INSANE. Why did I want to do this? It's been fabulous seeing the landscape, the people, etc but seriously, what an idiot. AND on top of that, you have to pay to use toliets (aka a hole in the ground), bring your own toliet paper AND the girl I am with walks really slow. Don't get me wrong, I like her, but, seriously, pick it up! (probably too many commas there but I don't even care)

Plus, no safari because she doesn't do animals - what? And no hiking because she doesn't do that either - seriously? Note to self, choose your travel companions wisely.

So, I am headed to Uganda in Jan for a safari and rafting...good thing I'm so wealthy...f-er (yes, I said it...what?!!?)

Woah.

The electricity is incredibly spotty today/night so I better write while I can.

I am exhausted; mentally and emotionally drained. The workshop ended today and it was amazing. God's work is being done here in Rwanda. I pray that it continues and hope the rest of the world takes the time to acknowledge what is happening here. We have so much to learn from these people.

I felt honored to be in the room when individuals were giving their testimony but I was also very uncomfortable because felt like it was too private for me to be there. I am an outsider who has never experienced this kind of horror so cannot even begin to pretend to know what they are feeling. I sat there in awe, I cried with them, I prayed with them and I had no idea what they were even saying!

There was a lot of group work today so when they broke off into discussion groups, Benjamin, the lead counselor took me aside to translate for me. One woman stood up who was a Hutu married to a Tutsi. Her husband was killed during the genocide and her whole family rejected her - both sides. Her in-laws wanted her killed because she was a Hutu and "responsible" for her husband’s death while her own family rejected her for marrying a Tutsi and being a moderate Hutu. She has been alone and rejected by both families for the last 15 years. She gave her testimony and asked for forgiveness for any role she played in the genocide. One of her husband’s aunts was part of the workshop as well and stood up, gave her a hug and asked for her for forgiveness as well. She told her that going forward they would be together and each other's "best friend." It was very powerful and I hope that they follow-up with their commitment to each other.

Another story was of a Tutsi woman who was married to a Hutu. Her husband was part of the army and I believe is currently in prison. Her children, who are Hutu, were rejected from their community (as babies) because they were "killers." After the genocide, she moved back to Nyamata which was hit hard by the genocide wiping out virtually the entire Tutsi population. At that time she was a teacher and when the school found out her children were Hutu she was fired because they would "not pay her to feed those killers." Overtime, she began to resent her children and began to beat them and refer to them as killers as well. During her testimony, she expressed her desire to reconnect with her children and ask for their forgiveness. She said the workshop showed her that she too was a killer. She has spent the last 15 years killing her children's spirit and minds.

Many others shared their stories as well and testified that they are looking to change and are ready to step forward out of the darkness. These past three days were the first days of healing for a community who has been tortured with anger, guilt and shame for the last 15 years. It would be naive to expect it to be immediate, but who knows, God can work miracles.

I'm off to Tanzania tomorrow until December 5th (I think) so there will be limited blogging but I will try! I hope you all have a fabulous Thanksgiving and I am so blessed to have you all in my life.

I love you a lot.

Be grateful

I was going to start off by staying this will be a short one because I am tired but knowing me, it probably won't be so I'll just jump in...

Went to Nyamata today for the first day of a four day sociotherapy session for the victims and perpetrators of the genocide. The way the workshop is set up is on day one individuals discuss the history, what happened, why it happened, and give people the opportunity to express their personal loss of both tangible (people, houses, cows) and intangible (peace, love, faith in humanity, unity, etc). The following days are geared towards moving forward through forgiveness and reconciliation. The primary goal of the workshop is to start the healing process for these people. If they can not heal, they will never be capable of truly forgiving and without forgiveness, there is no reconciliation. Without reconciliation, Rwanda will continue to struggle as it has for the last 100 years. (As sick as this may sound, I was happy to hear that the tribes (Hutus, Tutsi, and Twa) were confrontational before the Belgium's or white folk got there. They made it worse, but it was not all peace and harmony before. One of the many things I like about the leader of our group is that he is very into ownership - he makes each person take accountability for their role in the genocide and leaves little room for blaming others).

Throughout the workshop, I learned a lot about African culture and the way that African families interact with each other. Apparently, most Africans do not express their emotions to each other, even their children. "I love you" is seldomly said and for the most part, due to numerous actions of the parents, many children grow up without a sense of value. As a result, the speaker quickly mentioned how getting over tangible loss was much simpler than the intangible. I was a bit dumbfounded because, although on some levels it does make sense, I find it very hard to believe it is that easy to get over the loss of a parent or sibling - mine at least are not that easy to replace. After only living here for 11 days, it is obvious that life is not valued has highly here as it is in the US but I was pretty taken back by how nonchalantly the loss of a family member was taken. That being said, it could also be because the workshop is geared towards Rwanda on a whole and Rwanda will not survive unless the people have a sense of love, peace and unity but still...

The whole tribes thing baffles me...ethnic ideology is the root of so much evil. If only people could just look at each other as human beings the world would be such a better place...such a simple concept but so impossible for most to understand. It all goes back to DO YOU... haha.

In addition to the workshop, I went to an orphanage for children with disabilities - rip my heart out much. It was wonderful to be there but really, really hard to leave. It's amazing how well you can communicate with people without using words. There were only a couple kids there because most went home for the holidays but I had one in my arms at all times and the other latched onto my leg. I believe both of the boys were around five and had pretty severe mental disabilities (beautiful smiles though). There was also a blind four year old, a three year old who had been found in the brush a week earlier (I have never seen a skinner child in my life) and a 15 year old who could not speak but was weaving away. I walked away from that experience very grateful for all the gifts I have in my life; having the basics is enough!

Overall it was an eventful and emotional day...off to Tanzania Thursday (I think, still have to check out safety stuff) I'll keep you posted.

I love, love, love you (said like Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice (2005))

Peace.

Standardized tests....fun times.

Started studying for the GRE today and got my first questions right which is super exciting and all I needed to continue...

I made the big decision that I am going to take it in September 2010 (I think)...going for my MS in Counseling and Mental Health but still feel the pressure to combine it with an MBA so may have to do GMAT too. Who knows?! Every time I have an extended amount of time to pray and meditate, I always come back to counseling and my Home for Hearts concept...ahhhh, I have so much I want to do!!!

Please note that playgrounds in Africa and Home for Hearts are on the list, which means it will get done - maybe not for a ten years but I wrote it down so now I have to do it in my lifetime.

Other than the above, I got my first sunburn today! f-er. I got it walking from church..not bad but totally avoidable. I always miss a spot which you would think at 25 wouldn't happen anymore! Whatevs...aside from that I have a big week ahead of me, lots of meetings and heading to Tanzania Wednesday. I didn't realize that Thanksgiving was this Thursday!! We are having a big dinner here, actually getting a live turkey...doing it the old-fashioned way. I'm bummed that I am going to miss it! I really should have planned better but when I'm away from home the days just become a blur and I have no concept of the date.

Time is passing quickly but talking to Mom and Reilly on skype last night made me sad for the first time in awhile...makes me want to be home. (No one really believes me but if I didn't force myself to do these things I would be quite content sitting on my mom's lap (whatever, don't judge me) for the rest of my life…)

Lots of love

P.S. Cannot wait to see New Moon.

Chew on that!

The cost of my braces is equivalent to over nine years of income for the average household in Rwanda.

And, that only counts this time...it does not take into account that I've had them twice. Selfish much!

Pete you're going to kill me

Meant to add to my last post that my camera SUCKS...yes, inappropriate to say maybe but there is no better word. I’m so ticked. I'm thinking of buying a new one and having one of the girls bring it back with her but that's still up in the air...this whole money going out, nothing coming in thing is kinda uncomfortable. But, rest assured, I will be back here so this visit may not have great pictures but the next one will. AND, LT will be in them too!

Time's a passing

I'm shocked that it's already Friday; this week went by so fast! I'm feeling good about being here and about the timeframe that I have chosen. I am so excited for all of the opportunities that exist within Rwanda and inspired by the young people here who are doing everything in their power to make their country a better place. Three months is perfect because I believe it will give me the ability to access the needs and come home to use my network to figure out how to implement different projects to fill those needs. My goal is to start some sort of parks and recreation within Rwanda...the kids have NO WHERE to play! There isn't a swing, slide or monkey bars anywhere in this country...no wonder there is so much unrest. If kids don't play together they are only exposed to a very small number of people and usually those that their parents choose and very similar to themselves.

Yes, it's a huge project and I need to make money to support myself and all that jazz but this is possible. I am in the process of putting a document together and hope to figure out some sort of strategy before leaving. At that point, I will come home and pick the brains of the brilliant people I know to get their input on next steps. In order to be successful, it has to be a gov't funded project (I think) but I'm going to work to make the best case that I can. Ideally, I want it to come from the Rwandanese, being here has made me a firm believer that change has to come from within. I am so very pro-America but America needs saving too and all the people looking to change the world are doing just that...looking outside of their own country. The members of PLP are a group of very capable men and women, who, if given the opportunity, will change this country from within. Relying on other nations for all of the funding is a crutch and they understand that. The country and it's people need to feel a sense of ownership.

Other than that, yesterday was busy! We did not have electricity in the morning so I could not write and from 12PM until 1AM I was out. We went to Ingando which is a military school in northern Rwanda near Gisenyi. We showed the two films, As We Forgive and The Long Coat. As you may know, As We Forgive follows the lives of a couple victims and perpetrators on their road to forgiveness and reconciliation. The Long Coat, which is a new film that was produced by a young man here in Rwanda, features his life as a Hutus and the shame associated with the actions of his father and mother. After the films, we had discussion groups and students stand up to ask questions and give their own testimony. Despite being a very closed and private culture, no one has any problem standing up in front of people and telling their story (or singing and dancing).

In terms of landscape, words don't do it justice!!!! We were up near gorilla country and we had to drive down a series of dirt roads to get to the school. After driving through the most beautiful area I have ever seen (and by ever, I mean ever! Yes, more than the backyard in Park City) we opened up to the school which was sitting on a huge lake surrounded by mountains. The thought that "if I were born here, I would never leave" actually crossed my mind (and that's knowing there is little electricity, running water, etc.). The houses were tucked in the trees - which looked like stunted palm trees with huge elephant leafs - surrounded by flowers. It was amazing.

Now, on to Kate, everyone has told me how I will never be the same after this experience. Well people, the change is happening...

1) I only eat one piece of gum at a time and that piece usually lasts an hour or so. Once finished, I rarely go for another piece, I just chill. As a result, it has taken me nine days to finish a pack of gum. Now, you may say to yourself..."she is only doing that because she does not have enough to last"...wrong! I have six packs and my good friend Alexis will let you know that the "normal" Kate would be done with all six about 5 days ago...if she was going to run out or not.

2) I actually only use a dime sized portion of shampoo and conditioner now and it actually works!!! Who would have known that our parents weren't kidding and being cheap...that really is all you need. I have just saved myself a considerable amount of money!

3) I LOVE not having a TV!!! I honestly don't even miss it! Naturally I get tired at 9:30 so I'm usually in bed by 10 and always up by 7 at the latest...usually 6:30. I'm a big fan of the morning.

I'm sure there are more but that's all I got right now...

Feeling good - had my first hot shower today since being here and know that my heart needed this journey. Also, going to Tanzania next week with a girl I met from London and a couple of her American friends....free room and board!! o yeah! Can't wait :)

Lastly, as many of you have warned, I am still very alert and aware of my surroundings. The embassy is a nice run away and I know that I am still in Africa. I will continue to watch my back but am so grateful that I was not scared out of this experience.

Water or electricity anyone?

Six days of constant electric outages (for hrs at a time) and two days without water is interesting....

Just thought I'd share. Don't be fooled, I still like it here.

Oh, and mark my words, the Peace and Lover Proclaimers will be on Oprah someday. Believe it!

"Kate, you are African."

Yes, you heard that right. It only took one full day together for a Rwandanese to say that I am African...not once, but twice.

So, yesterday...

Benjamin, my colleague and now friend, went to a village two hours north of Kigali in the district of Nyabihu. We went there to do a pastors workshop focusing on forgiveness and reconciliation for the victims and perpetrators of the genocide. Before the genocide, this village was a prominent community in Rwanda. Although it's difficult to understand completely due to the translation from Kinyarwanda to English, I was given the impression that the former President, Juvenal Habyarimana, who was killed in the plane crash that started the killing spree in 1994 had lived there. This village, like many of the surrounding villages, was nearly wiped out immediately. Since it is close to the Congo, where some of the perpetrators fled, many of the villagers still live in fear that the extremist will return. In addition to that fear, they have to live side-by-side with the individuals who killed their family members and friends.

When we arrived to the town we were greeted by a woman named Cecine who was probably in her late 30's. She was beautiful. Her bone structure was so strong and she had bright brown eyes. She greeted me in true Rwandanese fashion...two arms on the shoulders (like a hug) and touch cheeks three times - right, left, right. I also met a group of pastors and everyone was very welcoming. Benjamin had told them that I was practicing my Kinyarwanda, which they all thought was very funny for some reason, and Cecine stole my cheat sheet and practiced pronunciation with me. The kids came in flocks. I was the only "umuzungu" in the village and since I had "rings on my teeth" they had to get a look. As soon as we started to walk anywhere they would follow us, like 20 at a time, and wanted me to take their picture. It was causing a bit of a scene so I only took a couple when there were fewer kids. I took a photo of a group of them and in that group was a tiny girl who was probably only 3 or 4 yrs old. We went to lunch (which is a whole other story...rice, meat, spaghetti, greens, beans, potatoes..all on one plate, weighed like 5 lbs and I offended them by only eating an actual serving but I would have been sick otherwise...I was the only person in a group of 30 who did not basically lick the plate clean)...but, back to the little girl...after lunch when we were walking back to the church, the little girl ran up to me and hugged both of my legs! Her head was probably just at my knees and she was squeezing my legs...it was the nicest thing - really made me happy!

When we got back from lunch we did the discussion part of the program where the attendees give their own testimonies and ask questions. One man's story in particular really caught my attention - again, it's translated so who knows - he was saying how he is trying to forgive so that he can move on and he is not opposed to reconciliation but how was he to do that when they, the extremist who fled to the Congo, were still trying to hunt down his family and him. It's crazy to me. It's crazy to think that is a real fear of a real human being, not an actor/actress. Every day that is on his mind. Every day he is wondering if / when they will find him. It baffles me. Even more, they only want him dead because of the tribe he was born into, because he is tall, has different bone structure, and his ancestors, who he has no real connection with may or may not have at one time or the other killed one of theirs...ahhhh, shocking.

In terms of the landscape, it was a gorgeous drive. The altitude was so high that my ears actually popped. It looked like UT - it was beautiful. Women were walking around with babies on their backs and baskets or bananas on their heads, while the men had bunches of pipes or boxes on theirs. There were no cars on the road, only the buses and an occasional truck, and people were just going along with their daily tasks. There were children everywhere running around or sitting in groups on the side of the road. A majority of their clothing was still western but the colors they wore together is not something you will see in the western world. They wear pinks, purples, neons, all together, men and women. The women only wore dresses or long skirts that were usually bright with intricate patterns. The land was so green and the farming plots were all divided and cut into the mountains...I forget the correct terminology but it was like steps.

It was a great day. I'm sure I didn't do it justice but I tried. I really wish you could all experience this. The way these people live their day-to-day lives is humbling. I'm starting to question why people in the west feel the need to help them by introducing technology. It doesn't look like they are asking for help to me, but then again, I'm only beginning to learn the language and I wouldn't know if they told me.

Words/phrases for the next 2 days
Mwaramutse (mar-a-mut-cee) - Good Morning
Mwiriwe (mer-na-way) - Good afternoon
Bite byanyu? (be-tee bee-yan-yo) - How's it going?
Nibyiza, murakoze, nave se? (not sure exactly) - Fine, thanks and you?
Murakoze (mir-a-ku-ze) - Thank you
Nitwa (nee-twa) - My name is...

Love you.

A gift

Today Africa was everything that I had hoped it would be. I had a truly amazing day and will never be able to fully articulate exactly what I saw, heard and felt. I'll try tomorrow but I'm exhausted so off to bed!

Lots a love!

Boom Boom Pow

My iPod is dead, my itunes never fully loaded, and my IP is recognized as Rwandanese which unfortunately does not have access to the Apple store. As a result, there will be no solo dance parties to Boom Boom Pow or Fire Burning on the Dance Floor in Africa...very bad news.

In other and more important news, I had a good day and a fabulous evening. We had a meeting with the guys from PLP (Peace and Love Proclaimers) which is a non-profit in Rwanda run by a group of young people who are working to promote a better Rwanda through empowering the youth. They are such an great group of guys and it's so inspiring to see what they have been able to accomplish while holding down full time jobs. They are full of hope and it made my night. I really look forward to working with them. (Each of them speak at least 4 languages...wtf, one negative about the good ol' US of A)

Other than that, the cook is mad at me. I apparently don't eat enough...yes, me. I'm trying to only eat when I am hungry and that is not ok with her. I'm sticking to my plan but she gets so offended and actually talked to one of the other girls in the house about it. Basically, I just want to say, DO YOU...but, I don't think that's appropriate. We're friends (as close as people that have known eachother for 4 days can be) so I feel comfortable trying to explain it but the language barrier is too much. PLUS, the girls were talking about how on average ex-pats gain between 30-40lb while in Africa due to rice belly (and beer)…if that is the case, count on seeing me sometime around Feb. 2012 because I will be walking/swimming home.

Peace and love to all...(insert peace sign and sway here)

I love America

Another day full of deep thought and reflection...

The more I learn about Rwanda's economy the more I am fascinated with the importance of maintaining ours. Yes, we are going through our own crisis but we are currently fundamentally far better off than most. In Rwanda there is no middle class. From my limited understanding, the taxes on businesses are so high that it is nearly impossible for an entrepreneur to start his/her own business here and succeed which only makes the rich richer and the poor poorer. I am pro-rich, if it is a result of hard work, and think it is wrong to force rich people to have to support the poor. But, in this case, the lack of opportunity for an individual to better his or her own situation and that of their families, regardless of how hard they try is discouraging. Basically, the government is a dream crusher. (I'm sure it's much more complicated than that but that's all I got!)

It's only day three and the state of this country makes we want to be more involved in ours. We've got a good thing going and need to protect it. Maybe I'll run for President...Vote Kate Kelley 2032 (just kidding, that is not making the list)

Other than all that political bs, found a great church, met some cool people, and had indian food.



HUGS.

Rwanda vs. Zambia 0-0...riveting

Today was a good day...started out a bit rough but took a turn for the better which is always nice.

My five roommates and I went to the Rwanda vs. Zambia football game. It was an intense match-up that resulted in a final score of 0-0.

My observations were as follows:

1. The players don't keep their heads down when they shoot and are incredibly dramatic.
2. Out of 5,000+ spectators, my roommates and I made up six of the approximately 15 women there.
3. Over 75% of the spectators were wearing US hand-me-downs for clothing (one being a Boston shirt).
4. People like to push at sporting events in every country.
5. No one could leave the stadium until el Presidente left.

Overall, it was a great experience. There was dancing, drums and trees...yes, they bring tree branches with leaves on them to create an additional sound that adds to the drum beat.

Speaking of trees...

We had the tree in front of our house cut down this morning and the man's wife showed up half-way through with their two sons to collect the leaves. They were starving and we suspected they were going to turn those leaves into some kind of food or craft. All of their clothes were old and torn and one of their sons didn't even have shoes. We offered them crackers and the whole family took a bunch. There oldest son, who was probably five, was very bright. He was repeating what we said and had the ability to carry on a short conversation in english before he left. It's amazing to think that chances are this five year old will never have the opportunity to truly develop and go to college or even high school.

I know, depressing note to finish with so I will add that I was doing my fair share of staring today (apparently it's appropriate here) and I decided that African's were made to smile...they have such happy faces.

Sending lots of love from Africa.

Day One (awake)

Mwiriwe, (Good afternoon)

My first full day awake (minus an hour nap) has been ok...not terrible, not great and I don't want to say bad so I am saying ok. I know it is always very difficult in the beginning so I can't say I expected this experience to be any different...plus I only have about 78 days left anyway (yes, I've already counted) so it will fly by.

To state the obvious, Africa is hot - not scorching hot (yet) since Rwanda is in the middle of rain season but hot nonetheless. It is surprisingly green here due to the immense amounts of nightly rain we receive (on our metal roof) and it is very hilly, hence it's nickname "Land of a Thousand Hills" which makes a casual walk somewhat of a workout (which I obviously love). When the sun is out in full blast around noon, just walking around makes you perspire (as Nana said, "Ladies don't sweat, they perspire."). Around 4 o'clock it starts to cool down to a comfortable temperature and then it is pitch black by 6:15 (I am and will be indoors by then, which is depressing because I love walking around at night but my whole "hoodie on and attempt walk like a dude thing" that I did in Europe isn't worth trying here).

The disparity between the rich and the poor is shocking. There are big houses here, even by US standards, and then there are shacks four lots away. To think the average person lives on $1.25 USD a day makes you wonder what the "poor" people are actually living on.

The biggest and most difficult adjustment for me will be that I am whiter than white. EVERYONE here stares you down and then calls you "Umuzungu" which is white person in Kinyarwanda. Being the obvious minority for the first time in my life* is kind of uncomfortable to be honest. As one of the two white people at the market today, I had a sense of fear that I have never experienced, both of myself and of my surroundings. I was fearful because I could not recognize if I was afraid because I was alone in Africa or afraid because I was alone with all black people. Due to my experience as a member of the "playa suite" and my relationships I have with some of my closest friends, I would like to believe it was the latter, but the thought was still very present in my mind.

Well, I probably wrote too much but it's a blog so you don't have to read it all! I miss you all and feel your prayers. They are greatly appreciated...keep em' coming!

O, forgot to say, roomies are nice (5 total, 3 from NYC, one that went to my church! small world) and I have two new potential friends that I met today when I was walking around. We are going to play bball and practice English / Kinyarwanda. Yes, Mom, they are Pygmies.

Ijoro rwiza, nda gukunda (Have a good night, I love you)

Kate


*Redheads are the number one minority in the world :)

Almost Time

Blog has officially started...

It's Saturday morning, I leave Tuesday night...woah. I'm surprisingly not freaking out like I originally suspected so I guess that's a good sign. I don't expect the ulcers to come until I get on the plane Tuesday...

I'm so lucky to have so many people to miss.