Woah.

The electricity is incredibly spotty today/night so I better write while I can.

I am exhausted; mentally and emotionally drained. The workshop ended today and it was amazing. God's work is being done here in Rwanda. I pray that it continues and hope the rest of the world takes the time to acknowledge what is happening here. We have so much to learn from these people.

I felt honored to be in the room when individuals were giving their testimony but I was also very uncomfortable because felt like it was too private for me to be there. I am an outsider who has never experienced this kind of horror so cannot even begin to pretend to know what they are feeling. I sat there in awe, I cried with them, I prayed with them and I had no idea what they were even saying!

There was a lot of group work today so when they broke off into discussion groups, Benjamin, the lead counselor took me aside to translate for me. One woman stood up who was a Hutu married to a Tutsi. Her husband was killed during the genocide and her whole family rejected her - both sides. Her in-laws wanted her killed because she was a Hutu and "responsible" for her husband’s death while her own family rejected her for marrying a Tutsi and being a moderate Hutu. She has been alone and rejected by both families for the last 15 years. She gave her testimony and asked for forgiveness for any role she played in the genocide. One of her husband’s aunts was part of the workshop as well and stood up, gave her a hug and asked for her for forgiveness as well. She told her that going forward they would be together and each other's "best friend." It was very powerful and I hope that they follow-up with their commitment to each other.

Another story was of a Tutsi woman who was married to a Hutu. Her husband was part of the army and I believe is currently in prison. Her children, who are Hutu, were rejected from their community (as babies) because they were "killers." After the genocide, she moved back to Nyamata which was hit hard by the genocide wiping out virtually the entire Tutsi population. At that time she was a teacher and when the school found out her children were Hutu she was fired because they would "not pay her to feed those killers." Overtime, she began to resent her children and began to beat them and refer to them as killers as well. During her testimony, she expressed her desire to reconnect with her children and ask for their forgiveness. She said the workshop showed her that she too was a killer. She has spent the last 15 years killing her children's spirit and minds.

Many others shared their stories as well and testified that they are looking to change and are ready to step forward out of the darkness. These past three days were the first days of healing for a community who has been tortured with anger, guilt and shame for the last 15 years. It would be naive to expect it to be immediate, but who knows, God can work miracles.

I'm off to Tanzania tomorrow until December 5th (I think) so there will be limited blogging but I will try! I hope you all have a fabulous Thanksgiving and I am so blessed to have you all in my life.

I love you a lot.