Call Me Princess

Today is one of those good days. I am almost gitty over all of the projects I am involved in and the people I am working with. It's truly amazing that I find myself in this position at this time in my life. If you told me last year that I would be in Rwanda with all of this responsibility, working on these projects that have the potential to change the world in a small way, I would never have believed you (maybe). As I get older, I find myself more and more thankful for my intense fearful nature because without it I would never embark on these adventures. The constant need to overcome my fears has opened me up to so many rich experiences (I can thank the good ol' dad for that one). To be honest, it does get exhausting at times but while it lasts I mine as well take advantage. Hopefully someday I'll be a wife and mother and, from what I hear and see, there is not much "me" time in that...can't exactly pickup and go to Africa on a whim...

My gittiness may also be attributed to the fact that I went to the gym this morning. I got a six month membership (more cost effective) to a really nice gym in a fancy hotel but I have to admit that I feel awful about it. I am paying as much as I paid at home but am experiencing some serious guilt over it - major cognitive dissonance. I'm worried that every time I go I'm going to be disgusted with myself for spending the money so foolishly when people all around me need it for everyday living. My membership is as much as a year and a half of income for the average Rwandan family. (I should note here that I had no problem with my lavish spending in the US, never really taking into account that some Americans are only living on a $1 a day too...real nice Kate). I'm just torn, I mean it's too late, I signed up and I know it will be a nice escape that will make me healthier but I wish I could just get my lazy ass to workout outside instead. Bottomline, I'm spoiled and I am having real issues dealing with that fact. Welcome to my warped mind.

Huge hugs coming your way!

P.S. It rained today until 11AMish which means that a significant portion of Rwandan's did not go to work today until around 12PM. If you did not know, Africa stops for the rain. (That could be a reason for the limited income...maybe?? Probably not, I'm just trying to make myself feel better)